Martini Quotes

"I'm not talking a cup of cheap gin splashed over an ice cube.

I'm talking satin, fire and ice; Fred Astaire in a glass; surgical cleanliness, insight.. comfort; redemption and absolution. I'm talking MARTINI.


Sunday, April 5, 2015

Martian Martinis

The Mission

      While trying to decide which sci-fi adventure to watch with the boys tonight, and finally deciding on Prometheus,  I was introduced to the Mars One mission project. How I missed this one I don't know, but my boys are all very well versed on the subject. Apparently, someone has come up with an idea to start a human colony on Mars.  It is still in the early planning phases with an anticipated landing date perhaps in 2028 or so.   At first glance, it seems like the kind of thing that would suit me, but alas, the deadline has passed.  My 11 year old, Hunter, seemed genuinely concerned that Dad might want to leave his family for the angry red planet, but his older brothers recognized it as more of dad's whimsical and somewhat meandering musings.    

The Selection Process

      The selection process for astronauts began several years ago and they currently aren't accepting new applicants. So it would seem that I've missed the boat, or spacecraft in this case.   According to the website,"The astronauts must be intelligent, creative, psychologically stable and physically healthy." So far, so good, I'm thinking.  The only age criteria is 18 years or older, so that's not a problem.  Next are certain, what I would call, vague characteristics:

  1. resiliency
  2. adaptability
  3. curiosity
  4. ability to trust
  5. creativity/resourcefulness
I might have to bluff my way through some of those interview questions, especially number 4, but I think I could do it.  The only real problem as I see it (pardon the pun) would be the eyesight requirement which does need to be normal 20/20 vision.  Unfortunately, I've had to resort to the "cheaters" in recent years in order to read the fine print.  I suppose vision correction surgery would be necessary, or perhaps I could just blow them away with my survival skills culled from watching all those survival shows, like Man vs. Wild and Dual Survival.

Martian Martinis

      I have to admit that my real motivation for wanting to go to Mars is the prospect of starting the first Martian gin distillery.  I'm thinking this would be the ultimate small batch craft distillery.  Who in the gin world wouldn't want to procure a bottle of Martian gin?
Forget Martin Miller sending his spirits to Iceland for the water, I'm going to the Martian polar ice caps!  In terms of construction,  it should be simple enough.  I'm sure there would be plenty of engineering know how on board.  There would be plenty of time to work out all the details, as I would have to wait for the botanicals to grow in the greenhouse anyway.  I would like to proof it out beyond even a navy strength gin, perhaps 130 or so.  After all, navies only sail the seven seas and I'm going all the way to Mars!  It seems like the right thing to do.  This could be even better then my outdoor martini bar!

One remaining obstacle however is the vermouth.  I do not have a sufficient knowledge of it's production and I fear that it would prove too high a hurdle to overcome. Hopefully, someone will just bring the vermouth.  On the other hand, Mars is known for being exceptionally dry.  It only stands to reason then, that a Martian Martini should be made similarly arid.  So instead of looking in the direction of France or Italy in deference to the vermouth, I could bow to Earth when making my Martian Martini!  

I hope I'm not too old for the second wave of Mars astronauts.
Does Anyone Have a Good Name for a Martian Gin? 

1 comment:

  1. I don't have a good name for the Martian Gin, but man, I applaud your ingenuity! The world would be a much better place if people would reorder their priorities, important things first, good alcohol, for example, and secondary things lower, like the ability to wage war.

    I hate to fly, but when you get your Martian Martini bar up and running I would like to make a reservation. If you could arrange to have Alien playing on the television that would make the whole thing perfect.